


Selling Fraud As Salvation

by schierlingsbecher



Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Description of Psychological Abuse, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Explicit rating for violence, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mind Control, OC only minor, Past Abuse, Slow Build, and also for things much much later in the story, description of precursors' abuse, slow healing, slowly healing together, tags will be added throughout the story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2019-06-24 12:44:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15630930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/schierlingsbecher/pseuds/schierlingsbecher
Summary: After  Newton Geiszler tried to destroy the world, the world now tries to find a way to deal with Newton Geiszler. But he isn't the evil mastermind people think he is, and there's not much left of the brilliant xenobiologist from ten years ago. His confidence is gone and left an insecure, paranoid man, who now needs the help of Liwen Shao, his psychotherapist, and his former lab partner Hermann Gottlieb.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Mesira_Nexos](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mesira_Nexos/gifts).



> This is the fruit of several ideas I had and basically scratched - aside from tiny details that made it into this piece. I am very insecure about my writing, but I still try to update regularly. Still, any criticism or review is highly appreciated. Also, I'm German, born and living in the same city as Newton, and basically his age. So... if you're spotting any mistake: that's as much in character as it gets.  
> 

Waiting was pain.

He couldn’t even estimate how long he’d been sitting on this uncushioned bank, but judging from the throbbing ache slowly coiling downwards from his hip to his right leg, it was far too long. Rubbing the side of his thigh absent-mindedly, he traced the same tiny crack in one of the floor tiles with his eyes over and over again. His mind hadn’t seemed to be able to decide whether his thoughts were running a mile a minute or spinning in unbearably slow circles. The result was an ever present headache.

Still, he had decided to sit outside the courtroom, waiting out here without any information on how things were standing on the other side of that door, enduring a horrible mixture of anticipation, worry, desperate hope and apprehension. A feeling that made his guts twist constantly.

Yes, waiting was pain. In every possible way.

But Hermann preferred everything, even this limbo between salvation and demise, to the absolutely devastating sight that was Newton Geiszler on trial. Hermann had only seen him when he had been called in to testify on Newton’s behalf - it was an image that haunted him for the following many, many hours of trial.

His hair, once effortlessly wild, since Newton used to run his fingers through the strands more often than he did not, had now been strangely messy; it looked greasy and uncombed in a way that suggested neglect rather than restlessness or a nervous tic. His face had seemed gaunt, his cheeks somehow hollow and the ever-present rings beneath his eyes had reached a to date unknown level of darkness. Newton had sat on his chair like he wished it’d swallow him whole, eyes cast down the entire time. Hermann had never seen Newton avoid eye contact for longer than a few seconds, but now it was like he made a conscious effort to not look at anyone.

Hermann had been ashamed to admit to himself that his first reaction to the sight had been revulsion.

It were the features that pretended to be typically Newton and only just so failed that made Hermann feel uneasy when he looked at him - that made his skin crawl in the worst way.

This sight, somehow burned into his mind and strangely similar to the feeling of a nauseating twitch in one's guts, had been enough to convince Hermann to not take a seat among the other few allowed spectators.

Newton’s case was closed to the public, due to the extremely private nature of most of the evidence, even though this decision had been the subject of demonstrations worldwide.

After Japan and Newton’s imprisonment, there had been a huge international discussion on whether his trial should be in held in Japan, China or Germany. Only weeks of the EU putting pressure on the UN had finally resulted in an official obligation of the PPDC to extradite Newton to his homeland - since he still had German citizenship.

This decision had resulted in a huge uproar in the international press, opinions and facts being tossed around, twisted and torn apart beyond the point that you couldn’t tell one from the other. The least severe effect had been that Hermann had to cancel several of his newspaper subscriptions.

There had been protests around the world, especially in cities that had directly suffered from the second wave of attacks, to let Newton be judged in the region he had damaged and hurt so badly, to put him in an asylum without the chance of ever getting out, or to execute him, since he had to be regarded as a permanent threat to all humankind.

Hermann had been pained to see the reasoning behind at least some of these arguments.

There had been threats - serious ones - directed not only towards Newton, but pretty much everyone who had somehow been involved with him. The PPDC had given up on forwarding any of the letters, emails and video messages to Hermann and the former Jaeger pilots, and Shao Industries disposed of any letters and emails immediately, mainly after one particular letter, addressed to Liwen, that had contained phosphorus pentoxide. The head of security had suffered serious burns on his hands, eyes, and airways from the substance.

The profiles of Shao Industries, as well as the PPDC, Liwen, Jake and the other Jaeger pilots, and Hermann on various social media lay practically fallow. Shao Industries had lost promising contracts and many clients; the shares were at an all-time low.

Hermann had to change his phone numbers several times, had canceled all guest lectures he had been invited to give throughout the last year and his online course on engineering statistics at his _alma mater_ , the TU in Berlin, was on hold for two semesters already. He had moved back to Germany for the trial and even though he was an esteemed scientist, it had been a huge problem to find a residence in Brandenburg - a task that would have taken any other person a few days. But Hermann was not any other person anymore. His name was the first that was associated with Doctor Newton Geiszler - the man who had tried to eliminate humanity, who almost brought the apocalypse, who turned against his own kind.

Maybe he would have pitied himself a little bit if he wasn’t so worried about Newton’s fate.

So many protests and riots had been held because of Newton’s actions and the running trial that Hermann was sure Newton would have enjoyed the spectacle had it concerned his research. At least the Newton from ten years ago would have loved having caused such a turmoil. But as it was, there was rarely a voice that spoke in his favor.

The public painted very grotesque images of him and his personality, the most benevolent one depicting him as a mad scientist whose experiments had left him disturbed and sans sense of right and wrong. Voices that argued on behalf of Newton existed as well, but they were not many and easily countered with the little information that had gotten out since the trial had started.

With a final sigh, Hermann tugged his cane underneath his chin and closed his eyes. Yes, the waiting had been an almost unbearable burden, but these few hours he’d spent in the courthouse today, were far worse than anything prior. Today, this torture would come to an end - one way or another. Today they would deliver the verdict.

Hermann rubbed his thumb over the handle of his cane, a habit he noticed he’d picked up sometime after week eight of trial.

Consciously, he knew that he had done everything in his power; he had combed through every email he had exchanged with Newton over the past twenty years to document the change in his character meticulously, he had contacted every Jaeger pilot and PPDC official Newton had ever worked with to testify in his favor, he moved back, paused practically anything else in his life but- still it felt like it might not be enough.

A cold feeling spread in his stomach and ran up his spine.

Suddenly, there was rustling and shuffling behind the courtroom doors. Hermann looked up and gripped his cane tightly, watching the doors only for a moment before they swung open, and the few people inside trudged into the hallway, murmuring and chatting. Hermann scanned the small crowd and quickly spotted Liwen, her hair neat, her look stern.

She had come to testify as well, and had functioned as Hermann’s ears and eyes inside whenever she was able to attend the trial herself and was not needed in China. Hermann still suspected that she had been neglecting her function as CEO during the last weeks for the sake of both Hermann and Newton. Even though he was also worried about her company, he was immeasurably grateful.

Pushing himself up from the bank and rushing over to her as fast as he could, she starting speaking as soon as he was close enough to hear her hushed voice.

“We do have 20 minutes before they deliver the verdict.”

Her mouth formed a tight line and, in lack of anything of significance to say, Hermann nodded.

“Very well. At least it will be over after that.”

She gestured behind herself. “I’d rather think of it as a start - of whatever is going to happen. Which is why,” she said, voice only slightly raised, “you would want to be present to know the outcome.”

Her tone seemed light, but as anything she suggested, it was unambiguous. She was demanding him to go inside with her, sit there at least to witness the ending of this crucial point in Newton's story. To show his support. To make Newton feel like he was not alone - at least on some level. To be strong for his sake.

Rubbing his palm over the handle of his cane, Hermann hummed silently. He wanted to tell her that he wanted to. He'd wanted to be there the whole time. That he just had... reservations about seeing him in his current state. Looking so unlike himself, so broken and in a way fragile. Hermann’s guts started spinning again and instead he asked, “How is he holding up, Liwen?”

“He is still impassive. I am not even sure whether he’s listening.”

Hermann shook his head, the memory of Newton in dock, staring intensely at his fingers and shivering whenever his name had been mentioned, was all too clear.

“He is. Trust me. He’s listening to every word.”

Liwen nodded, a serious expression on her face, and gently touched Hermann’s elbow with her fingertips. They were both not overly fond of physical contact, especially in public, so this was practically a hug. Hermann appreciated it by nodding back.

Taking a deep breath as his eyes wandered over to the courtroom doors, he put his cane to the ground with determination.

“If I’m going to do this, I’d fancy choosing a seat then…”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, these chapters aren't really that long, but give me a little time.

People around him had risen. Suddenly the room seemed crowded, when a second ago it had almost felt empty. The shadow of it still hung heavily on his shoulders - a strange tension that almost made the air crackle with a foreboding storm. It had felt strained, and the suspense had been so thick one might as well have cut it with a knife. When finally the judges’ words had broken through, it was the relief of hearing thunder during a stuffy summer’s night that ran down Hermann’s spine.

Not liable.

Newton had been found not liable for his actions.

His mind had still repeated this small bit over and over again when the judge had continued with the verdict, so all Hermann could do was watch the scenery while the echo of sweet salvation whitewashed any other sounds. Now that the administrative judge had finished talking, she was rearranging her papers and turned to the other judges; people were rising, moving, shaking hands; Newton’s father and uncle were hugging next to Hermann, his mother leaning against the shoulder of her boyfriend. Things were happening much to fast for Hermann to process, especially without the sensation of sound telling him where to direct his attention, and so his eyes were drawn to the only immovable thing in the room.

Newton. He was still sitting in his chair, head tilted a little to the side, staring down onto the floor. His lawyer was standing as well as the other people around them, obviously happy with the outcome, but as he turned to shake Newton’s hand, he stopped and bent down to whisper to him. There was no visible reaction, but Newton let the man pat his shoulder before he packed his bag.

Hermann watched him sit there motionlessly, people rustling with their coats and bags and papers, feet tapping the tiled floor around them, chatter and even laughter suddenly surrounding them and just as Newton was about to raise his head and look his direction, a person stepped into his personal space, drawing his attention away from Newton.

Looking up, he faced a politely smiling Margarete Hirai. She was Newton’s psychiatrist and the one who supervised Newton in the forensic psychiatry he had been placed in. She had also provided the many reports and evaluations of Newton’s mental state. They had been unbelievably lucky to get her, not only because her father was Japanese, which had enabled her to travel to Japan when Newton was still held there without a language barrier, but also because she had deemed him _non compos mentis_ for the time of his crimes. She was the most valuable person Newton had on his side.

Straightening his shirt after pushing himself up on the backrest of the bench in front of him, he extended his hand to greet her.

“Doctor.”

“Doctor,” she replied with a polite smile, then crossed her arms behind her back, “Nice to see you in here for the great news.”

“I wouldn’t have missed it,” Hermann gave back, leaning forward on his cane.

“I thought so.”

She kept smiling, but then looked around them, obviously waiting for the people to clear their area a little bit.

When she spoke again, her voice was a little hushed.

“I spoke to Newton and he and I think it would be a great time for you to join one of his sessions.”

Slightly surprised, Hermann raised his eyebrows, “Already?”

A few weeks ago, Doctor Hirai had asked Hermann whether he’d be willing to join Newton for an appointment, provided Newton would want that as well. It might help him to sort through the things he was not yet verbalising, she had said, and someone who had been in Newton’s head might just be the right person. Of course Hermann had agreed immediately, even the slightest chance of being of help was enough for him to take. He had ignored the sharp voice in the back of his mind that asked him whether he only did that to quieten the wrecking guilt he still felt.

“Yes, and now that the trial is finally over, it would also be a great opportunity to talk about Newton’s future. Especially since you are now the legal guardian.”

She smiled victoriously, and Hermann nodded with similar vigor.

Newton’s lawyer had recommended Hermann to request becoming Newton’s legal guardian, seeing that if he was found not liable he would need someone who’d take responsibility for him. They had chosen Hermann because his mother didn’t live in Germany any more, and that’s where Newton would be supposed to stay and his father had enough to do with caring for himself and Newton’s uncle. At least those were the arguments Hermann had been presented with. If he was honest with himself, he suspected that it was because he would be able to supervise Newton and notice it if he was about to do anything dangerous or criminal. There was only a hand full of people left alive that were at the same level of K-Science and J-Tech profession. If Newton’s state of mind worsened again, he might be able to plan something very dangerous without people noticing.

Hermann looked over to Newton, but he was already escorted out to be brought back to Doctor Hirai’s institution. He kneaded his knuckles, still clasped over the handle of his cane.

“As long as he is fine with me being present, I’d be happy to assist in any way I can.”

“He is, don’t worry. In fact, he seemed to be quite fond of the idea of having you there. But you’ll see for yourself.”

With a hopeful smile, Hermann nodded back, “I might just do that, Doc-”

But before he could finish, he heard his name shouted from the opposite side of the room and he froze. Turning his head slowly, he saw Newton’s father gesturing for him to come over to where he was standing with Ilia, Monica, and her companion. Ilia wiped his face with a tissue, whereas Jakob seemingly had given up on that and let the tears of joy run down his cheeks. He shouted for him again and Hermann extended his hand to Doctor Hirai.

“I think I am needed elsewhere.”

“I figured,” she laughed and grabbed his hand, much more enthusiastic this time, “Saturday - let’s say 2pm?”

“Splendid,” Hermann gave back, and after letting go of her hand, turned to walk over to Newton’s family, only to realize that Jakob had already crossed the distance between them and, before Hermann could protest, pulled him in a hug.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading this. If you want to leave a kudo or a comment, rest assured that these make my day ♥  
> I am [schierlingsbecher](http://schierlingsbecher.tumblr.com/) on tumblr as well - if you wanna talk there or find my support page, I'd be thrilled ♥


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